Knock knock "Honey, could you get the door?" "I'm tired of doing everything here! Get you ass up and do it yourself!" "Well why don't you just go back to bar you whore?" "This marriage was a mistake, I'm going back to mother!" They divorced 5 months later.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. A.Knock knock B. Who's there? A.Not Susie

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what do you do when you see a injured black man screaming in pain rolling on the ground assist him or call 911 depending how severe the injury is

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A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!

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Why was the interracial marriage unsuccessful? Because several social factors have challenged the couple as they live in a rural part of the South and interracial couples generally aren't as accepted in those areas as in progressive city centers.

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What's green and red? A frog in a blender

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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What color is cotton? White Well in Afrca, they grow black cotton

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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So,a guy walks up to his friends at the bar and try's to to talk to them,the friends start being rasist ,so the first guy says 'wo guys stop going in that direction ,that one direction

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The Big Bang. -BG_Shank_A

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

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What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

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why did they bury bin laden at sea? because he died

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

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10 Mexicans are in a car. Who is driving? 1 of the Mexicans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops