Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A.One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a human.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the black guy good at basketball? When buying African American Slaves the masters often sought attributes that would be useful for manual labor such as agricultural work. The slaves who met these criteria had more chances to pass on their better, more beneficial genetic info via sexual intercourse with other slaves. Through many generations the most beneficial traits such as fine motor control in the phalanges and overall strength were passed down. This is very similar to Darwin's Theory of Evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the minority say to the white person? Aboobasashagaboogly. He was uneducated, along with the other minorities in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the white girl crying? Because she was sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What is black and can't support a family? A: A bowling ball

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worst than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worst than a pile of dead babies? One live baby under the pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you get if you cross an angle with an antelope? An anglelope.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the runner say after he ran 10 miles? I just ran 10 miles.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I asked god for a bike but i know he doesn't work like that so i stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get a tissue to dance. You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops