Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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What is the difference between a bright red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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How many People does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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What happened when Susie fell off the Ferris Wheel? There was an open seat.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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9/11 my birthday

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Very few things are worse than this international tragedy Over six million people died, most of them tortured before they died. But stepping on a thumb tack is way up there

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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