A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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what did the boy with no arms get for christmas? A pair of robtic arms and now he has super stregth so he fuk up any body who said he would get cancer.

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was hoping to achieve greater economic prosperity and well-being for his family. penis.

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

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They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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A man walks into a bar, and promptly leaves because he left his kid in the car.

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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