Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the boy fall off the swings? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a black man playing golf? A golfer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you ask a blonde out to dinner? Politely

thumb_up thumb_down +15

do,Nt loagh at me I has dislecqsia

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops