What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Wanna here a funny joke? Will is straight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hes gay

roses are red, violets are blue, penis

Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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