what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

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a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

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What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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why did superman die, aids he got from wonder women

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

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yo momma is soo stupid when anyone says anything she say i don't understand .

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call me maybe.

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

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Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

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what does a slim jim taste like? there is no answer because everyone has a different amount of taste buds

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops