Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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knock knock who's their panda panda who shut up I never said yo name and don't call me black

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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Your d is so small that when you had a boner and walked into the wall....... YOU BROKE YOUR NOSE! Millimeter Monster bro

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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asians have slitted eyes lol

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What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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