What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

An old asian woman is driving down the freeway a drunk driver merges into her lane. Everyone is ok because she keeps a safe distance behind.

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

whats up and also down? your mum

Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

cchina is communist the USA isnt WHY?

Yo mama is so fat, she lost in a race to a person who had less physical mass.

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

So a horse walks into a barn.

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

What do you call a fat zombie? Dead

Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

Why did the chair fall off the cliff? Well it is an inamitate object so it did not move itself, someone must have threw it

roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

Why was Joe afraid of Steve? Because Steve raped and killed all of Joe's three children two weeks ago.

Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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