What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

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How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

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What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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