What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

How do you fit 10,000,000 jews inside a car? It's not physically possible as no car can carry that many people.

What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

Whats worse than a man who has had a hard day at work, he goes to a bar and gets drunk, he goes home and beats his wife? I his wife was fat and had cancer

Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

What did the disabled kid do on friday? He fell down a flight of stairs.

that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

You want to hear a joke? Republican

How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

what is the difference between me and a grown black man.... i went to school

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

Q-Whos the best server at Sonic? A-Kevin !

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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