What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Today I went to the grocery store. I purchased milk, eggs, orange juice, and my favorite breakfast cereal for $18.73. I subsequently got into my sedan and drove home.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If your falling up a ladder and your canoe runs out of gas, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog houes? A. George Washington B. India C. Blue Answer: False

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

thumb_up thumb_down -26

knock knock who's there bob bob who bob marley who else

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

thumb_up thumb_down -26

steve walked into a bar, what happened next? A: He fell down.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops