Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

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here's a joke... the american education society

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Yo mamas so fat she is obese

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What do you do when you see a hot girl in your bed

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What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

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What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

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Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

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Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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Best reaction to Anti-humor joke me: whats green and has wheels Friend: idk Me: Grass i lied about the wheels Friend:wow dick

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Q: whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans

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A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

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my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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Knock knock whos there? Jake jake who? jake from state farm, and i'd like to tell you about our insurance company

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You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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