There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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My girlfriend said she doesn't like anti jokes and now i'm single ha ha just kidding.... she's dead

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poop

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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what starts with P and ends with u-b-e-s? Paul, can you brang me some priangles and the rest of my Rubik's cubes?

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

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An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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