How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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Jimmy wanted a bike for Christmas He got cancer instead.

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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BOB:i feall like a hotdog JOE:u r what u eat BOB:no wonder your a d!(k JOE:f*** u

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

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What do you call a man with no home or family? Charles Manson…He currently resides in jail.

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Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

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And you honored it I see :P

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Son : daddy ,I got punished in school today. Dad :why? Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me saying -"At the end of this scale there is an idiot"..... I just asked "WHICH END ?.

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Maths.

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How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb?? None it is physically impossible

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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Obama Getting Re-Elected.

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What do a grape and an airplane have in common? They both have wings! except not the grape.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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A dyslexic walks into a bar. He called it a bra because he was dyslexic and dyslexics misspell things. People laughed at him because mental disabilities are inherently humorous to them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his farmer was abusive.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are a variety of methods, but I prefer a fine mix of insecure clowns and pepto-bismol.

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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