A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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What is 33 + 1? Penis

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What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

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Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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Q : What did the construction worker get for christmas? A: Nothing a building fell on him 3 days earlier

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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Na na na na na Neo! Na na na na na na 'Sporin!

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There once was a man from Nantucket, He sailed a boat.

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A Duck walks into a bar.

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A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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One day, a guy wanted to know if all blondes really were dumb. He gathered a stadium full of blondes, picked one out of the blondes and said,"I will ask you a few questions. First, what is 23+12?" The blonde replied,"Uh, 30." The other blondes said,"Give her another chance!" "Alright. Next question. What is 30+30?" Said the inquirer. The blonde answered, "Oh! 300!" "Give her another chance!" The blonde crowd shouted. "Alright but this is the last question. What is 1+1?" The blonde answered, "2." The blonde crowd roared, "Give her another chance!"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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