How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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How do you fit 10,000,000 jews inside a car? It's not physically possible as no car can carry that many people.

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What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

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What's funnier than New York City? ADAM STOCK! By Logan in South Dakota

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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whats worst than a trashcan full of dead babies? A baby eating the dead babies.

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Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Trampoline.

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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I have 13 hedge hogs in one hand and 4 pineapples in my van how many pikelets does it take to cover the roof. Purple because aliens dont wear hats.

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How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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