Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

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knock knock who's their panda panda who shut up I never said yo name and don't call me black

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Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

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what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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What happens when a Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. He gets a broken nose.

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KILL WHITEY

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I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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Maths.

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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Your d is so small that when you had a boner and walked into the wall....... YOU BROKE YOUR NOSE! Millimeter Monster bro

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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