How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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1: I heard a great knock knock joke, but you have to start it. 2: Okay, knock knock! 1: Who's there? 2: ???

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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How many are in a baker's dozen? 12 bakers

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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I had a submarine.... once

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the difference between michael jackson and casey anthony? Michael jackson's dead.

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The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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