have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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What did the black guy do with his gun? Shoot a deer

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A seal walks into a club.

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A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

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A: What's worse than two dead babies lying on cement? B: The Holocaust? A: Yeah or something like that

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

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You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

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What did the goose say to the other goose? Honk!

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

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Why did the chicken cross the road It was being dragged to the other side by fox It's the way of life _._._

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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