What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A woman went outside for some fresh air.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You are so ugly that when you were born the doctor didn't say anything to your mother because he has social manners.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The t rex said to the textbook ............. Im not going to read you

thumb_up thumb_down +8

%3c%2fa%3e%3c%2fh3%3e alert("The Game."); %3cScR%69pt%2ffoo%3eev%61l%28%27ale%27+%27ert%28%29%27%29;

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If two blondes had a kid it would probably be a blonde because two recessive chromosomes have a higher chance of showing than one dominant gene.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

guess what? bannanas

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the lesbian say to the hot dog? "nice to MEAT you" get it the hot dog is made of meat!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the chicken say to the.... nevermind

thumb_up thumb_down +8

'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette on an island. This island is called England, and this situation tends to happen a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

thumb_up thumb_down +8

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops