Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

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What shoes keep dogs quiet? Hush puppies.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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what's worse than pie? alot of things.

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Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

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What is the Hardest part of helping a grandma who has having trouble crossing the road? Picking the gravel out of the wrinkles in her knees.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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A group of young men walks into a bar. They drink some booze, laugh, have a great time and then go home to sleep.

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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I named my son ps2 controller

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops