What do you get when you cross a hippo with a dishwasher? 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A black guy pulls into a KFC drive thru and orders some chicken. The cashier tells him that they are out of chicken, so the black goes to McDonald's instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

One time at band camp.............that's it........

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

thumb_up thumb_down -21

John Travolta went to a seafood disco last week.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas?? -nothing, he didn't make it that far

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

knock knock whose there? suck my a s s barf

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops