How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because I shot him. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because his tail was stapled to the other monkey.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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What is the difference between Jesus and jackAwhole lota fat

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What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

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There once was a man named Trevor. Trevor was walking casually through the forest one day. All of a sudden, a wolf leapt out from the trees. The wolf said, in a harsh voice, "Hey man! This is my patch". But then Trevor woke up and realised that his hallucinations were symptoms of a degenerative brain disease.

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An irish man and a lebanese man jump off a cliff who wins? No one it wasnt a race

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Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

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How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

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A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

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Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

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What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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