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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

1 out of 4 questions. How do you get a girrafe in a fridge? Open it, put the girrafe in, and close it.

What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

whats disappointing and not funny? this joke. ouch.

What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? Now he is dead..

Invisible Children Foundation.

What's funnier than a dead baby? Everything.

I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

Laura Pratz... not having a strong urge to tweet everything that happens in her life.

Q: A squirrel a chipmunk and a spider monkey are fighting over these nuts. Who gets them? A: Your Mom ;p

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer