What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares? Seriously, who, on this planet, bothers to care about such a trivial matter? Is it really that important to you that must be given clarification as to why a random bird species just happened to cross a road? Will knowing benefit your life in some fashion? Well I'd like to know how. Ha! Perhaps you feel that, if you have the answer revealed to you, it will give you extra guidance of some sort in raising a chicken as a pet, or training a chicken to perform tricks for an animal contest, or something along those lines. Well I'm afraid you are out of luck, as I will not tell you. By reading this passage, you are wasting so much precious time. As you keep reading, seconds pass and you only waste more. You could be doing so much more with your life right now. Instead, you could be studying a topic that you might need to be knowledgeable about in the future. You could be shopping for goods. You could be painting a nice picture, writing a short story, or composing a piece of music. You could be getting exercise, or cleaning your house, or spending time with family, or even raising money for charity. There are countless meaningful tasks that you could be carrying out which would benefit you and others around you, including those who are less fortunate than you. But no. Instead you choose to do nothing, reading useless and forgettable anti-jokes on a crummy website, with a strange, fruitless desire of knowing why a chicken crossed a road. You must have such a sad life. You know what? I pity you, so I have decided that I will tell you why the chicken crossed the road. But only if you want to know. You might not want to know by this point. Do you still want to know? Are you sure you do? Are you really, really sure? Because I'm gonna tell you, regardless. Just keep reading! Don't take your eyes off the screen! You will find out exactly why the chicken crossed the road in 3... 2...1... and here we go! Ready, kids? The chicken crossed the road because... because... because... whoops, actually, I forgot. Sorry.

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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knock knock who's there? a dog ......dogs cant talk ..................

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

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Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

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Your tell your girlfriend to make you a sandwich, she actually makes one for you.

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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