Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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What do you call a black man with a Ph.D? Doctor.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

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Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

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Unfortually last night Andrew McNeil was studying soo hard that his head exploded and the next day at school, his friends found out and then cheered with laughter and happieness.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

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This is not a joke.

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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how do you make a baby cry? you throw a brick at it's face!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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