Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

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Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender quickly says to its owner that he must leave as dogs are not allowed in. Upon realizing that it is a seeing eye dog, the bartender retracts his statement and serves the owner a drink.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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knock, knock Who's there? A social worker, we are taking your children into costody because your wife has reported you to the police for molesting them.

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A priest, a paedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. And that's just the first guy

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

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I would tell you a joke about a pencil but there would be no point.

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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It's yellow and you'll die when it comes into your eye. A taxi.

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what do you call aca that got pushed in a pool ? A WET PUSSY

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miha kako si?

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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Guess what! What? huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

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I tell the Doctor I'm having pains in my chest. He says that sounds serious and admits me immediately to the hospital.

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What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

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Yo momma's so fat she weighs more than the average woman of her age and height

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obama

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Logan's gay

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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