2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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A man walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Are you smelling me right now?"

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Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

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What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

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Tall asians

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

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Q: Why did James cry? A: Because he's an infant and still quite afraid of his surroundings

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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