A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

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Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

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Jimmy wanted a bike for Christmas He got cancer instead.

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Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

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Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

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Why did a black man put his hands on a white man? They were hugging.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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A man ate a lot of ice cream he had double bypass surgery 3 months later

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

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What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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