Knock knock. Who's there? Obama. Obama who? Barack Obama, President of the United States. I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar. I'm baking cookies for my family, because they really like my cookies.

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You slit it's throat.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why do all black people have AIDS? Because they deserve it.

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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You played so good! No, I played well. Okay??

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was wandering and had no idea wht it was doing because it has very little mental capacity whatsoever

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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HEYEEYAHEYAYYAEEAHHAAA

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a priest and a rabbi are walking down a road together the rabbi says: so your a priest how about that the priest says: fine ive read the bible a few times good book

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There was once a little boy who started feeling sick. His mother gave him some soup. He died anyway.

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Q:Wy could't lily sleep at night? A: Becasue her eays were stappeld open.

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Why didn't the kid get a bike for Christmas? Because his parents died and Santa's not real

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

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Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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your mammas so fat tha-- my mother is dead. oh... sorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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