"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

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Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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What you call it when 8 goes over 4? An improper fraction.

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What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Nickelback.

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Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

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what did the boy with no arms get for christmas? A pair of robtic arms and now he has super stregth so he fuk up any body who said he would get cancer.

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

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Why could the penguin not fly? It was shot in the wing.

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I'm going to rewrite history. History.

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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