What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

What is fat and ginger? No...Not Garfield...Rebeka Tims

what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see, the fact that he was dyslexic is irellevant.

Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

You know what they say about a man with big feet! They say it's indicative of the size of his penis, although there's no scientific evidence backing this up.

- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

What is black, white, and red all over? Rape.

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

Why cant Helen Keller driver? She's a woman

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

What do you get when you stab a man in the leg with a knife? A court summons because you have committed a horrible crime

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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