What has two legs? Half a cat

Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

800 people died last year. end of story

Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

Vote this down and get DOXED

Q: What cat walks on two feet? A: Garfield Q: What mouse walks on two feet? A: Mickey Mouse Q: What duck walks on two feet? A: Donald Duck? A: No, all ducks you dipshit.

how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

what do u call a lesbian with long hair? a long haired lesbian.

What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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