Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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What do you call a black man that works with out pay? A volunteer

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

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How do you tell the difference between a politician and a reindeer? A politician is an employee who works under a strict firm of a government department while a reindeer is a large, grazing ungulate in the family Cervidae that is native to subarctic polar regions of North America.

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs 283 pounds.

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What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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What do cows in Africa say? Moo

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fish:)

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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