Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

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What did Tiger Woods do when he saw a woman taking her shirt off? He looked the other way so he could make his birdie putt

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Hey, dude, wanna hear a joke? Sure... Pussy. ...I dont get it... Exactly! HAHAHAHAHAHA

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

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What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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why was smokey bear sad? he got cancer from smokeing

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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Rock a by baby, In a tree top When the wind blows The cradle will rock, When the bough breaks The cradle will fall And down will come baby Dying on impact.

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

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What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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1 error prohibited this post from being saved There were problems with the following fields: * Body can't be blank

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Do you believe in Santa? Cuz i don't. Kookaburra

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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