Im about to rewrite History....... History

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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What did the racist black man say to the white man? Nothing they both died in a car accident.

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Dear Reader I am writing to express my complete and utter disdain toward the subject of your face. Rarely have I to witness such a repugnant sight. I would like to inform you that, upon most regrettably witnessing your face, my delicate stomach muscles gave way, and my morning meal, of lightly buttered Kipper and freshly squeezed orange juice most unfortunately ended up in one of the seventeen human waste disposal outlets to adorn my manor house. I struggle to comprehend how you, being such a selfish sadist, are able to live with yourself, knowing how much dismay you have caused me. Might I suggest that you pay a visit to a prosthetic plastic surgeon, in order to prevent other innocent's to suffer as did I. I request politely, but please be firmly assured in the knowledge that I will complain to the magnificent force of the police should you not comply with my reasonable request. Your face simply can not be allowed to exist in it's current form. I would go so far to say that it may be a danger to the elder's of our society, with their regrettably weak hearts.

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A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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yo mama's so fat because when women are pregnet thay gain weight for there child to feed on

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

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What do you get if you cross a horse with a cow? A horse and a cow.

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A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

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why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

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What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

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how many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? --probably just one, unless cerebral palsy runs in her blood, therefore her aid would assist her.

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Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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