If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

what is the difference between the number 2 and the number 5 3

Q: Whats worst then losing your wallet? A: Giving birth to a dead baby.

If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

whats worse that being raped by a giant squirrel? being raped by two giant squirrels.

Q. whats worse then eating a slice of cheese? A. Finding out your mom has a penis

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun, Get in the van.

i want to watch t.v, how do u turn it on? idk, do u know how? idk either, i cant see or hear then y do u want to watch t.v wuts a tv?

If the joke below mine says something about a mom its from adam he sucks ...

what are you your not a human? are you an other?

roses are red... violets are blue ..... Cancer

What do the duck and elephant have in common?? Nothing, they are completely different species.

whats brown and sticky? Doody

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

Mohamed is driving a taxi to the airport at 20mph How many pounds of explosives are strapped to his chest?

what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

How did Hellen Keller eat her meals? With a fork.

A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

How do Mexicans have sex? They get in bed, and the man puts his dick in his partner's vagina.

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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