Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

It's likely that very few people will read this.

chuck noris- can swim through land god- can walk on watter i- can run on air

A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

What's worse than getting a F on your History test? The millions of children around your age that cannot even afford to go to school, most likely because they live in a third world country.

Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

Three kids are playing on the swings. One of the kids falls off. He then gets up, gets back on the swing and continues playing.

Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

what is so funny about billy? nothing he is dead and if you laught at him you are the biggest jerk by: Brennan pickrell

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

Obama ran for re-election in 2012. He lost because he is a horrible president. the liberal left blame his defeat on racists and propose harsh Hate-Crime punishments. America falls into disrepair.

Why did the blond woman throw a clock out the window? She was going through a bitter divorce, and didn't want her ex-husband's things in her house anymore.

What is faster? A mustang or a corvette? A fighter jet you stupid idiotic piece of crap!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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