Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had leukemia

A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

time to spruce up!

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby in 10 trash cans.

What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

Fox News

Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

have safe sex

Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...