A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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What do you say to a homeless man sat in a train station? That there is a homeless shelter around the corner.

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How many dead babies fit in a car? Ask Casey Anthony, she'll probably know.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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What would u like to drink?

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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How much is that doggy in the window? It's not for sale....it's waiting to be euthanized.

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Ask me If I am an orange? Are you and Orange? No

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

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How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

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Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have AIDS, now so do you.

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Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

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A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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