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Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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I think poop is tasty... just kidding.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why was the camel sad he wasnt, camels dont have feelings

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

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Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies? two piles of dead babies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

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what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops