Why do women love Panera Bread? They think it's healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

thumb_up thumb_down -8

hey guys im gay

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's brown and smells like shit? Brown colour. I'm synesthetic.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the hairless cat brush its hair? It could not, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs, making it near impossible to do such a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what is yellow with red all over tweety in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops