Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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A man walks into a bar... OW!!!

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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how did harry styles get in one diretion god

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A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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