One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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Why was the man sad? His wife left

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In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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Stephen Hawking

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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