Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Vaginal secretions

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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What's brown and seven feet tall? A door

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chicken. Chicken who? That's right.

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being killed in the slaughter house.

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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A deaf man is listening to the radio. Think about it.

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I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? It would probably be the court janitor who was responsible for that job, rather than the lawyers.

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Why was Armando unable to be found by his friend Ashley ? A: They both were murdered 7 years ago, and bodies are unable to do anything if they lost their soul that was with that body.

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What do you give a black man for his Christmas? A gift that you feel would suit his personality so that he may draw enjoyment from said gift.

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roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops