A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

STOP BULLYING FAT PEOPLE. They have enough on their plate

What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

Why did the cat cross the road? he wanted to be a docter.

ROSES ARE RED VILOTS ARE BLUE I HOPE YOU KNOW IM A JEW

How do you call a gay that is playing poker with friends You say "call" and place the right amount of fiches on the table, at that moment you are still in the race to win the pot.

What's the difference between Batman and a black guy? One is a guy that dresses up like a bat and fights crime and the other is just a mild-mannered person.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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