What is the difference between Whitney Houston and Elvis. They are dead. And it make people go boo hoo

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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What’s the difference between Cool and Kool, the way you spell it

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when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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How Many Friends Did The Ginger Kid Have? None.

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William Raines.

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cannibal. Cannibal wh... As the man opened the door, he was eaten. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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why did the sock go to kroger cause he was laying on the couch

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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