Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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This Haiku is strange There is a dinosaur WOW Snuffleupagus

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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Me and my friend wanted to burn some calories so we found a fat kid and lit him on fire!

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Knock knock Go away

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I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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Whats worse than it raining on your birthday? 911

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Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

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What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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What is the most dangerous place to be right now? Rodney Kings pool.

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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Steve buys 60 watermelons.. What does he have? A lot of watermelons.

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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