What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

I was once a hamster.

How many guys does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

What do you call a penguin that hangs around in playgrounds? A paedophile.

have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber get married.... Friends and family attend the wedding

A bear goes to target, soon after animal control came and put it in a nearby zoo

Q: What do you get when you cross an alcoholic and a sex addict? A: A baby

School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

please thumbs this up to help rhinos with boners thank you

Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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