What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

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Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

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What's bigger than a moose? An even bigger moose.

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how do you kill a giraffe? you don't.

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A student often slept through his alarm, which led to a lower class attendance rate and thus a poor performance on his exam

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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800 people died last year. end of story

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

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a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

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Why did the women die? Because She was a Squirrel.

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Knock knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? NOTHING, because NOTHING rhymes with orange!

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

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Why does people with tourettes curse so much? Fuck should I know?

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

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Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

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What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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