Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a passing car.

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Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

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Jersey Shore.

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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Why did the person name her OC telephone? I have no idea, please let me know why.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

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Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What do you call a woman who is addicted to crack, has a light mustache and huge saggy tits, has had 4 kids with 4 different fathers and makes her living giving hand-jobs behind the bus station? Mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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