What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

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ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

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Once their was an ugly barnacle. He was sooooo ugly that everyone died! The end. :D

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Give to the less fortunate. Date ugly people

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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What do you call a gay man in a wheelchair? Nothing, his life is already hard enough and bullying him will only make the problem worse.

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What do you call a man who beats his adopted, black children? A terrible person.

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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What do you call a boy with one eye and no arms. -Mean names.

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

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roses are red violets are blue pornhub is down ya mums facebook will do

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Hit her over the head with a baseball bat until she has concussion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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