What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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Whats similar between an apple and a black guy there is no similarities between them

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YOU'VE WON A FREE IPAD!!!!! PRESS CTRL+W TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE!

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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Hey Babies, The holocaust called, they want their screams back

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

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Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, This is false, Violets are purple.

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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Mum makes $97 per hour working online? Offline I can see , but online, mmm pull the other one, it plays lossless codecs

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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